Bob's Eye View Blog

"I'm Alabamy bound

There'll be no heebie jeebies hanging round..."

Words by Buddy DeSylva and Bud Green, Music by Ray Henderson

In yesterday's USA Today, there was a small blurb about a Jewish services group in Dothan, Alabama, which was offering Jewish families up to $50,000 to relocate to that tiny, overwhelmingly Christian town, population 58,000.  Heck, there are more than 58,000 Jews trying to crowd in to my local Chinese restaurant before the Early Bird Special time expires at 6:00 P.M. each night.

Dothan is known as the Peanut Capitol of the World.  Golly, I thought it was the Gefilte Fish Capitol of the World.  

Blumberg Family Jewish Community Services of Dothan, or as the National Association for the Elimination of Abbreviations (N.A.E.A.) call it, the BFJCS, hopes Jewish families are attracted to Dothan's friendly community life, its low cost of living and the heritage of its synagogue.  To earn the $50,000, they want you to stay in Shawshank, er, I mean Dothan, for at least five years.  I am a life-long atheist, and have more gay friends than straight.  I don't think atheists or gays could last five seconds in Dothan, let alone five years.  How about a gay, Jewish atheist in Dothan? Yeah, as Marisa Tomei said in My Cousin Vinny, they'd blend.

Gee, I wonder whether the residents of Dothan, Alabama are leaning towards McCain or Obama?  I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say that of the 58,000 people in Dothan, 58,000 (even babies) want McCain.

Gallop, Canter & Trot asked 26 bald people waiting to get in to the Early Bird Dinner at my local Chinese restaurant the following question:

Do you think Dothan, Alabama is known as the Peanut Capitol of the World, the Gefilte Fish Capitol of the World, or the Creamed Herring Capital of the World?

8 people refused to answer until they were seated

6 people correctly said it was the Peanut Capitol of the World

5 people thought Wasilla, Alaska was the Gefilte Fish Capitol of the World

4 people thought Dothan was the Creamed Herring Capitol of the World

3 people had no opinion

This poll has a margin of error of plus or minus two bagels with a schmear.