Monday, April 13, 2009
BOB'S EYE VIEW
THAT'S A CROC!
Who said, "When I close my eyes, I see their red eyes - dozens of them - looking back at me"?
Was it:
A) Right-wing lunatic Sean Hannity, with his daily rants about how the communists, led by Obama, are going to take over the U.S.
B) Sad, scary clown Glen Beck (who should be kept away from civilized society), or
C) Mike Godwin, tour guide at Orlando's Gatorland
The correct answer is Mike Godwin. He conducts walking tours at Gatorland, known as Gator Night Shine tours. Mike says about the gators, "They're not animatronic. If you fall off the Jungle Cruise, you don't get eaten by the crocodile. At Gatorland, things are a little different. If you go in there, you're not really coming out."
On a recent night tour, Mike pulled from a duffel bag a young alligator, with the mouth duct-taped shut, for everyone to hold. Oh, if only Rush Limbaugh could have his mouth duct-taped shut.
One of the highlights of the tour is meeting Sultan, a huge Nile crocodile. You meet him underwater, safely behind glass, as he shows off massive teeth. The croc is literally inches away from your face. Possibly the only thing scarier would be to confront Lumpy Limbaugh underwater, wearing a tiny spandex bathing suit, and being only inches away from the massive teeth of his fat face.
SEE YOU SOON.
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