Tuesday, August 4, 2009
BOBS EYE VIEW
WHACKING, THEN HACKING
I don't know about you, but whenever I read about the increasing problem of humongous Burmese pythons spreading throughout Florida, I think about Rush Limbaugh. After all, Burmese pythons and Rush Limbaugh are both fat snakes.
PETA, Pythons, er, I mean People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, recently argued that while American Veterinary Medical Association guidelines for euthanasia approve of "cranial concussion" for reptiles," it strongly advises following up by cutting or otherwise severing its spinal cord. In other words, PETA advises whacking, then hacking.
Stephanie Bell, a cruelty case manager for PETA, says that "often reptiles, unlike humans or birds, don't die instantly." She goes on to say that the brains of a reptile will continue to function after their head has been taken off. I am fairly confident that the same is true of Rush Limbaugh.
This issue is now stirring a debate among scientists. What some see as evidence of life - such as a severed snake head or Rush Limbaugh snapping their jaws - others argue it only amounts to a post-mortem nervous reflex.
Once again I am hitting the road. Bob's Eye View will return on Tuesday, September 8th. In the meantime, if you should see Rush Limbaugh slithering in the grass, do not approach, and make sure there are no children or small pets nearby. Call your Fish, Wildlife and Insane Talk Show Hosts Department, and hopefully, it will be safely removed.
SEE YOU IN A FEW TUESDAYS.
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