Bob's Eye View Blog

What has recently been spotted near West Palm Beach and Boca Raton, Florida, far away from its' native habitat?

I know that can be pretty much anything, so I'll give you a clue.  A recent quote said, "It is spreading fast, doing well and seems to be eating pretty much all the time."

If you guessed Rush Limbaugh, you'd be oh so close.  

I'll give you one more clue.  It can grow to be larger than the size of a football.

If you guessed Rush Limbaugh's head, you'd again be oh so close, but wrong just the same.

The correct answer is Pacific Lionfish, which are invading Atlantic coastal waters and causing fear that they could decimate fish populations and cripple ecosystems.

The Lionfish is a danger to anyone who gets too close.  The venomous sting can last for days and cause extreme pain, swelling and respiratory stress.  Now that I think about it, the same thing can happen if one gets too close to Rush Limbaugh.

This will be my last post until January 2, 2009.  I want to thank my tens of millions of loyal readers.  Have a great Thanksgiving.  My Canadian friends had their Thanksgiving in October.  

I guess they were trying to beat the traffic.  

Have a great holiday season, and a Happy and Healthy New Year.

Prosperous is out of the question.  Stay safe out there.  I'll see you next year.

What lives in south Florida, exhales air, spits and hisses, particularly when challenged?

If you guessed Rush Limbaugh, you'd be oh so close.  However, the correct answer is the Madagascar hissing cockroach.  Rush is the Palm Beach hissing cockroach.

The Madagascar cockroach can stretch up to five inches.  It has been reported by anonymous sources that when Rush gets excited, he can stretch up to three, or possibly even four inches, but those reports have yet to be confirmed.

University of Florida researchers are alerting homeowners and pest-control operators to watch for the Madagascar cockroach, as well as other new species of cockroaches that may have recently been introduced to Florida, although none have been spotted yet. Among the new species are the Turkestan cockroach, the lobster roach (thought to look amazingly like Sean Hannity) and the orange-spotted roach.

If I ever spot a hissing, spitting cockroach, and it's not Rush Limbaugh on Fox TV, I am heading north.

What has a 25-foot diameter?

Don't know?  I'll give you a hint.  

To weigh it on a special scale last week, a crane was used.  Still nothing?

Here's another hint.

It is 4,438 pounds heavier than the previous record-holder, and resides in south Florida.

If you guessed Rush Limbaugh, you were oh so close.

The correct answer is the official Guiness World Records biggest rubber band ball in the world, and it is located in Lauderhill, Florida, about 5 miles from my house.

It is 9,032 pounds (not much heavier than Rush), and stands 6 feet, 7 inches tall, and is owned by Joel Waul.

In 2010, Mr. Waul, a "performance artist," plans to set himself on fire in an attempt at another record: the human torch.  Perhaps he can first practice on Mr. Limbaugh.

  

All is back to normal in America.  With the stock market suffering its biggest two-day loss since 1987, and most likely another terrible day today, CNN (Certainly Not News) spent ten minutes this morning talking about the dress that Michelle Obama wore at Grant Park on election night.  They quoted various polls that seem to show a majority of people did not like the dress that she wore.  Luckily, she did not wear that dress a day or two before the election, or else we might have been looking at a President-elect Grumpy and a Vice-President elect Scary Sarah.

I've got to go and pick out my outfit for today.

President-elect Barack Obama (Gee, that feels so good writing that) will NOT be changing the name of Kentucky to Kenya.

Barack Obama will NOT be making Swahili the new official language of the United States.

Again, I apologize if any of the millions of readers of Bobs Eye View are having difficulty posting comments.  I have heard from a few people that they have encountered some difficulties.

But first, a word about comments.  I tried to post a comment to my own blog the other day and was unable to.  I am wondering if the thousands, and perhaps tens of thousands of the rest of you who read this blog have had similar trouble.  If you have had problems, I am truly sorry.

Barack Obama will NOT reveal that not only is his middle name Hussein, but his first and last names are also Hussein, making his name Hussein, Hussein, Hussein.  I actually wish that was his name because when he would take the oath of office on January 20th, and the question is asked, "Do you, Hussein Hussein Hussein...," that incredibly deafening noise heard round the world would be the sound of Rush Limbaugh exploding.

Barack Obama has done it!  Now I want to try and allay the fears of the people who think that Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "We have nothing to fear except fear itself and Barack Obama."

The Florida Panthers are the professional hockey team who play down here in south Florida. Obama will not re-name them the Florida Black Panthers.

Obama will not be appointing the Harlem Globetrotters to fill all of his cabinet positions.

Obama will not be tearing down the Washington Monument and replacing it with the Karl Marx Monument.

Obama will not be appointing Osama bin Laden to be the new head of Homeland Security.

In a play on words, and a shout out to his fellow Chicagoans, the Blues Brothers and their House of Blues, Obama will not be re-naming the White House "The House of Blacks".

Finally, Obama will not be changing the address of the White House from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to 666 Pennsylvania Avenue.