Hello, and thanks for stopping by.  I suppose I should put some clothes on.  Since I voluntarily left the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program, I decided to revive Bob's-Eye View. My goals are simple - to have you shoot the liquid  of your choosing through your nose as you  read something amusing, and then, as an added bonus, for you to wet your pants.  I'll try to do my part, and, in turn, I hope you'll do yours. Please check back often, as new bits of hilarity will be added periodically. Or if you just can't wait, go to my blog and post a comment now!

America is now in a polling frenzy. 
Every few seconds, a new poll is produced.  More polls are produced in the U.S. than marshmallow peeps.  There are now more pollsters than proctologists and podiatrists combined.Here at Bobseyeview, we want to jump on that bandwagon, so this website will have loads of polls.  Our first poll of the evening, conducted by me and asked of eight of my neighbors (six of whom were sleeping at the time), is: "Have you ever squirted a liquid out of your nose?"  63 percent said no; 28 percent said yes, and 9 percent had no opinion.  This poll has a margin of error that you would not believe!

Straw Poll
I also asked ten people with way more than ten items on a ten items or less line at my local supermarket the following question:

What is your opinion of straw?
3 people said they liked straw
3 people said they despised straw
1 person said he would report me to the police if I didn't get my fake microphone out of his face, and
3 people had no opinion

Here is Bob's-Eye View's 2nd Straw Poll.  Our staff fanned out across south Florida and we asked twenty-five people who have had a dental implant within the past year, the following question:
What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word "straw?"  This poll has a margin of error so thick you could cut it with a knife.
6 people said "The Wizard of Oz."
5 people said, "sipping a beverage."
4 people said "Tarzan," mistakenly thinking I had said the word "strong" instead of "straw."  Obviously, their dental implant had affected their hearing.
10 people had no opinion.

 

Some of you may already have heard that I recently finished writing my first book.  Since I have only read three or four, I consider this to be quite an accomplishment.  It is a comedy book, and it is titled, Diary of a Doll Wiggler - A Bob's-Eye View Into the Wacky & Wonderful World of Puppetry.  It can be ordered real soon through amazon.com and the Puppeteers of America store. I will keep you posted as the release date draws near. The book basically deals with my nearly thirty-year career as a puppeteer, and all the wacky and wonderful things that have happened along the way.  It is being published by Charlemagne Press. Below are some quotes from people, some living and some dead, about "Diary of a Doll Wiggler."

"As soon as my fingers defrost, I plan on reading your book."  Irv, an elder with the Inuit Indian tribe.	"I will break my fast to read The Doll Wiggler."  Andy Ghandi (who claims to be a distant cousin of Mahatma Ghandi)	"It's the best book I've read since I'm dead!"   Abraham Lincoln.	"If only I had read Diary of a Doll Wiggler, as my cousin, Alexander the Great did, things might have turned out differently for me." Mark the Mediocre	"Diary of a Doll Wiggler is a pretty funny book, although I do think my great grandfather's stories were funnier." Joe Poe (claims to be Edgar Allan Poe's great grandson)	"Why, oh why, didn't I read Diary of a Doll Wiggler? Quite possibly, I would have put off pillaging permanently." Attila the Hun