Saturday, April 19, 2008
This Entry Contains No Trans Fats.
Beginning tomorrow, my blog will be on vacation until Friday, May 2nd. My wife and I will be going on a small vacation, and then returning to the Land called Flori-DUH on May 1st. The blog will resume the following day. In the meantime, feel free to leave comments on the blog.
WHY GOOD SHARKS GO BAD
This morning I was driving past a brand new stadium, scheduled to open in 2009. It is the Johnson & Johnson Anti-Fungal, Jock Itch Cream Dome. I stopped to put a gallon of gas in my car and buy a newspaper. In the paper, I saw this story about sharks. It said that shark attacks have been on the rise in recent years. High-priced experts say the reason for this increase is that more and more people are invading the realm of the shark - the water! Wow! Those experts really know a lot of stuff. Those same experts are also quick to point out that a person is more likely to be mauled by a pit bull or hit by lightning than attacked by a shark. Actually, when I graduated from high school, I was voted "most likely to be mauled by a pit bull."
I wonder what the odds are of being mauled by a pit bull while being hit by lightning? How about the odds of a pit bull being mauled by a shark at a dog show?
A professor of marine biology at the University of Miami says, and I swear I am not making this up, "Falling Coca-Cola machines kill more people than sharks." Perhaps that's because people are invading the realm of the Coca-Cola machine. I read somewhere that if a Coca-Cola machine is about to fall on you, it is important to not try and outfight it. Remember, the Coca-Cola machine is a lot bigger, a lot stronger, and probably a lot colder than you are. DO NOT SHOW ANY FEAR. Drop to the ground and lie perfectly still. If you are lucky, the Coca-Cola machine will think you are dead, and will halt the attack.
BLOG BONUS - Useful Information About Sharks
Bull Sharks are unusual in that they can survive in both salt and fresh water (but not in seltzer water.)
Bull Sharks have more testosterone than elephants or lions, and actually have the highest testosterone level of any animal, except for Mick Jagger.
Sharks often forage for food in shallow water, or at 7-11's that are close to shore.
Bobs Eye View Poll Of The Day
I asked 63 left-handed podiatrists the following question:
Would you rather be:
Mauled by a pit bull
Attacked by a shark
Struck by lightning
47 percent said they would rather be mauled by a pit bull
29 percent said they would rather be attacked by a shark
13 percent said they would rather be struck by lightning
11 percent had no opinion
I'll see yuo on May 2nd.
Beginning tomorrow, my blog will be on vacation until Friday, May 2nd. My wife and I will be going on a small vacation, and then returning to the Land called Flori-DUH on May 1st. The blog will resume the following day. In the meantime, feel free to leave comments on the blog.
WHY GOOD SHARKS GO BAD
This morning I was driving past a brand new stadium, scheduled to open in 2009. It is the Johnson & Johnson Anti-Fungal, Jock Itch Cream Dome. I stopped to put a gallon of gas in my car and buy a newspaper. In the paper, I saw this story about sharks. It said that shark attacks have been on the rise in recent years. High-priced experts say the reason for this increase is that more and more people are invading the realm of the shark - the water! Wow! Those experts really know a lot of stuff. Those same experts are also quick to point out that a person is more likely to be mauled by a pit bull or hit by lightning than attacked by a shark. Actually, when I graduated from high school, I was voted "most likely to be mauled by a pit bull."
I wonder what the odds are of being mauled by a pit bull while being hit by lightning? How about the odds of a pit bull being mauled by a shark at a dog show?
A professor of marine biology at the University of Miami says, and I swear I am not making this up, "Falling Coca-Cola machines kill more people than sharks." Perhaps that's because people are invading the realm of the Coca-Cola machine. I read somewhere that if a Coca-Cola machine is about to fall on you, it is important to not try and outfight it. Remember, the Coca-Cola machine is a lot bigger, a lot stronger, and probably a lot colder than you are. DO NOT SHOW ANY FEAR. Drop to the ground and lie perfectly still. If you are lucky, the Coca-Cola machine will think you are dead, and will halt the attack.
BLOG BONUS - Useful Information About Sharks
Bull Sharks are unusual in that they can survive in both salt and fresh water (but not in seltzer water.)
Bull Sharks have more testosterone than elephants or lions, and actually have the highest testosterone level of any animal, except for Mick Jagger.
Sharks often forage for food in shallow water, or at 7-11's that are close to shore.
Bobs Eye View Poll Of The Day
I asked 63 left-handed podiatrists the following question:
Would you rather be:
Mauled by a pit bull
Attacked by a shark
Struck by lightning
47 percent said they would rather be mauled by a pit bull
29 percent said they would rather be attacked by a shark
13 percent said they would rather be struck by lightning
11 percent had no opinion
I'll see yuo on May 2nd.
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