Monday, May 5, 2008
Bobs Eye View
This entry is new and improved, and now contains 37 percent more humor.
Amazingly, the shrinking sound bite continues to shrink. A few years back, the Center for Media and Public affairs reported that the average length of the U.S. presidential candidates' sound bites on the evening news was seven seconds, an all-time low. SEVEN SECONDS! I predict the first presidential debate between John McBush and whoever the Democratic nominee will go something like this:
Moderator: "Senator McBush, you will have 3 seconds to explain your position on global warming. When you conclude your remarks, the Democratic nominee will have 2 seconds to respond. Senator McBush, please state your position on global warming."
Senator McBush: "My friends, I'd..."
Moderator: "I'm sorry, your time has expired. Democratic nominee, you have 2 seconds to respond."
Democratic nominee: "I think..."
Moderator: "I'm sorry, your time has expired as well. That's all the time we have for these debates. Please stay tune for professional wrestling."
Where will this insanity end? The sound bite is down to a precious few seconds. What happens when the attention span of the average American gets down to zero (which, if things continue to go at this pace, will occur on December 19, 2009)?
Will we start going backwards in time? Will it be at that point that the universe will stop expanding for a split second, and then begin to shrink, collapsing upon itself in a reverse Big-Bang? Inquiring minds (what's left of them) want to know.
I am driving south for a few days of shows in Key West. It's a dirty job, but some one has to do it. The blog will return on Thursday, May 8th. Behave yourselves until then.
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried before."
Mae West
Mae West
The Incredible Shrinking Sound Bite
Amazingly, the shrinking sound bite continues to shrink. A few years back, the Center for Media and Public affairs reported that the average length of the U.S. presidential candidates' sound bites on the evening news was seven seconds, an all-time low. SEVEN SECONDS! I predict the first presidential debate between John McBush and whoever the Democratic nominee will go something like this:
Moderator: "Senator McBush, you will have 3 seconds to explain your position on global warming. When you conclude your remarks, the Democratic nominee will have 2 seconds to respond. Senator McBush, please state your position on global warming."
Senator McBush: "My friends, I'd..."
Moderator: "I'm sorry, your time has expired. Democratic nominee, you have 2 seconds to respond."
Democratic nominee: "I think..."
Moderator: "I'm sorry, your time has expired as well. That's all the time we have for these debates. Please stay tune for professional wrestling."
Where will this insanity end? The sound bite is down to a precious few seconds. What happens when the attention span of the average American gets down to zero (which, if things continue to go at this pace, will occur on December 19, 2009)?
Will we start going backwards in time? Will it be at that point that the universe will stop expanding for a split second, and then begin to shrink, collapsing upon itself in a reverse Big-Bang? Inquiring minds (what's left of them) want to know.
I am driving south for a few days of shows in Key West. It's a dirty job, but some one has to do it. The blog will return on Thursday, May 8th. Behave yourselves until then.
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