Monday, May 26, 2008
Bobs Eye View
"Insurance companies rather famously have hearts the size of caraway seeds."
The late, great Molly Ivins
DID YOU KNOW?
On Saturday, I performed at the Ft. Lauderdale Museum of Discovery and Science. The museum has an IMAX Theater, where "Wild Ocean 3D" is showing. Due to this ocean theme, the museum's brochure has some ocean facts. Did you know that scientists estimate that the Atlantic Ocean holds 17 quadrillion gallons of water?
17 quadrillion just happens to be the same number of lies that the average politician tells in his or her lifetime.
THE INDIANAPOLIS 500
When I suggested that people combine trips to save on their gas mileage, my neighbor, Sidney Scoff, scoffed at that proposal. Well, Mr. Scoff, look at the videotape of yesterday's Indianapolis 500 auto race, which, strangely enough, takes place at the Indianapolis Speedway.
As a few of the drivers pulled into the pit to service their vehicles, I did see dry cleaning and groceries brought out to them. If the Indianapolis 500 drivers are combining trips, we are all in deep doo-doo. Speaking of doo-doo, negotiations are underway to rename the Indianapolis Speedway the Fleet Suppository Speedway ("where drivers not only drive fast, they go fast!")
BOBS EYE VIEW PREDICTIONS FOR JOHN MCCAIN'S FIRST TERM AS PRESIDENT
1) At the end of 2010, the price of a gallon of gas will be 17 quadrillion dollars.
2) At the end of 2011, McCain will announce that the U.S. is going out of business, due to our 17 quadrillion dollar debt.
There will be a huge going out of business sale...everything must go...no item too large or small. The Washington Monument will be sold to the Metamucil Company, and be renamed the Metamucil Monument. Microsoft will purchase the Jefferson Memorial, and it will be
renamed the Microsoft Memorial. Lincoln Mercury will buy the Lincoln Memorial and
rename it the Lincoln Town Car Memorial.
See You Tomorrow.
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