Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bobs Eye View
SOMETHING I LEARNED FROM READING A SNAPPLE ICED-TEA BOTTLE TOP
I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but the bottle tops on Snapple iced-teas have information printed on them. In fact, polls show that this is how the majority of Americans now get most of their information.
Yesterday, I read my morning bottle top and learned that a sneeze travels out of the mouth at 100 miles per hour, except, of course, in Florida, where it travels at about 20 to 30 miles per hour and usually gets lost.
INTERVIEW WITH A DEAD PRESIDENT
Our interview with Tommy Jefferson was so successful, that we decided to sit down this morning and interview Abraham Lincoln. Here he is now.
Bob: Hello, Mr. Lincoln. May I take your hat?
A.L.:
Bob: That is one huge hat. You could drop that hat down over Danny Devito, and he would disappear.
A.L.:
Bob: Can I get you a beverage? Perhaps some espresso?
A.L.:
Bob: Do you believe in the afterlife?
A.L.:
Bob: Since you were killed, how have you kept busy these last 143 years?
A.L.:
Bob: Speaking of being killed, if memory serves me, you were assassinated by a man with a gun. What is your position on gun control?
A.L.:
Bob: My mother used to drive a Lincoln. How do you feel about a car being named after you?
A.L.:
Bob: If you were alive today, what kind of car would you drive?
A.L.:
Bob: Americans celebrate your birthday every year by taking advantage of sales and going out and buying things like mattresses. How do you feel about that?
A.L.:
Bob: Was the Lincoln Memorial named for you or were you named for the Lincoln Memorial?
A.L.:
Bob: I'm sorry, Mr. President. we are out of time Thank you very much, and please send my best to Mary.
GEORGIA ON MY MIND
Tomorrow, Elise and I leave for a puppet festival in Savannah, Georgia. Bobs Eye View will return on Monday, June 16th. I am considering whether to continue on with this blog, so I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on this matter. Either e-mail me, or leave a comment on the blog.
See You Monday.
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