Bob's Eye View Blog

A while back, I reported that a group of Johns Hopkins University scientists, not wasting their time on frivolous research products such as finding a cure for cancer, had produced what seemed to be a miracle diet drug capable of turning off appetite in mice with virtually no side effects, other than a burning desire by the mice to go out and rent "Of Mice and Men."

I am happy for all those chubby mice out there who have constantly struggled with their weight, working out and sweating to all of those Richard Simmons exercise tapes.

Now, thanks to the efforts of the Johns Hopkins scientists, those mice can now comfortably fit into their teeny, tiny (though still stylish) swimsuits this summer, and not feel self conscious at the beach.

I am still reeling from the news that I am in possession of the original DEAD SEA POLLS. Late last night, my neighbor, Sol, informed me that the Polls appear to be made out of Silly Putty, so they are very stretched out, and are proving difficult to decipher.  I just hope that Sol's grandchildren, who are now visiting with him, will not play with the Dead Sea Polls, and stretch them out even more.

Just as an aside, 2008 marks the 50th anniversary of Silly Putty.  I have a book that lists gifts for various anniversaries, and strangely, the gift for a 50th anniversary is...Silly Putty.

Later today, I will bring the Dead Sea Polls to the Coconut Creek Department of Antiquities Building.  It is a brand new building, next door to where the old Department of Antiquities Building stood.  However, that building was twenty-years old, so it was razed last year.

I will report back to you as soon as I get any results.

I had trouble sleeping last night, and not only because I was in possession of the Dead Sea Polls, and wondered what I could get for them on E-Bay.  I suddenly realized that Marilyn Monroe would have been 82-years old yesterday.  I went for a drive early this morning, and as I was passing the nearly completed "Arm & Hammer Fluoride Anti-Cavity Toothpaste With Baking Soda & Peroxide Stadium", I heard a commercial on the car radio for a product called something like Wrap Slender.  It is some type of waist or body wrap.

The commercial said that with just one wrap, a person could lose between 8 and 30 inches off their waistline, and between $500 and $1,000 from their wallets.  (I just threw that last part in.)

Perhaps those dieting mice can get in on this scam, er, I mean plan.  How intelligent are people?  By my calculations, the average person is now roughly equivalent in intelligence to asparagus (and I might owe asparagus an apology at that).