Bob's Eye View Blog

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Here is a bonus, my friends. John McCain gave a one-hour interview to Politico.com yesterday. In that interview, he said that he is "Uncertain how many houses me and Cindy own." Say what??? (The sound of a game show buzzer is heard.)

I'm sorry. The correct answer, according to Progressiveaccountability.org, is ten homes, ranches, condos and lofts, worth approximately thirteen million, eight hundred and twenty-three thousand, two-hundred and sixty nine dollars. The sixty-nine dollars I can relate to.

Johnny & Cindy own:

2 beachfront condominiums in Coronado, California
1 condominium in La Jolla, California
a 2-unit condominium complex in Phoenix, Arizona
3 ranch houses near Sedona, Arizona
1 condominium in Arlington, Virginia
1 loft they bought for their daughter, Meghan

and a partridge in a pear tree.

SEE YOU SOON.

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE


Sadly, I predict that John McCain will be the next President of the U.S. I have been correct in my Presidential predictions going all the way back to Andrew Johnson. If McCain does become President, something I wrote way back in the year 2000 will become even more relevant today. Enjoy.

THROW THE SWITCH, IGOR

Executions in America are on the increase. There is a good possibility that Texas governor George Dubbya Bush will be the next President of the U.S. (Bite your tongue!)
If this happens, the number of executions will more than likely increase at an even more rapid rate. As you may or may not know, Texas executes more U.S. citizens than any other state, followed closely by Florida. As a Floridian, naturally I want my state to be number one in something, anything, even if it has to be executions. Ironically, as we speak, Florida is issuing license plates that read "Choose Life." Welcome to the Bizarro World!

And now, I am pleased to present a few words from the C.E.O. of D.I.E. (Dave's Institute of Executions), Mr. Dave Sizzle.

"Thanks, Bob. Hi, I'm Dave. What I am about to say may change your life forever. Executioners are in short supply all across this great compassionate country that I like to call America. The exciting field of executions will be one of the fastest growing careers well into the next century.

Do you have at least an elementary school education?
Do you like meeting new people (if only for a few minutes)?
Do you like working with electricity, gas or lethal drugs?
Do you like hanging out with sexy, beautiful women and driving sleek sports cars?
Have you ever seen a naked man in a locker room?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, you can qualify to become a licensed executioner in just four short weeks.

Here at D.I.E., you will get to work on actual equipment and practice on living human beings (thanks to a nearby homeless shelter).

This is Dave Sizzle saying pick up that phone and put a little electricity in your life. Call 1-458-886-5455 (I LUV TO KILL). Do it today!"

SEE YOU SOON.