Sunday, May 18, 2008
Bobs Eye View
Caution:
If this blog entry is printed out, and then accidentally swallowed, induce vomiting by forcing the person to listen to the speeches of George Bush!
POLLS, SCHMOLLS
I wish that we would wake up tomorrow morning, and read that pollsters have suddenly become extinct. Do you know anyone who has ever been polled for a U.S. presidential election? Well, do you?
The next time you see the results of a presidential poll, whether it be a Time Magazine/Playboy Magazine/Golf Magazine poll, an ABC, IOU, EIEIO poll, or a CBS, IRS, UPS poll, look at the fine print at the bottom of the poll results and see how many people were polled. It is only a handful of people, my friends (as John McCain would say). A handful of people in a country with more than 300 million people!
Unfortunately, in the past, this handful of people has been able to accurately predict who we will elect as our leaders, as well as what kind of toothpaste we will buy. What does this say about us as human beings, that we are sheep? EXACTLY! I like lamb chops as much as the next person, but enough is enough!
Let's stop being so predictable. If you are ever polled, lie about your answers. Start doing unpredictable things in your daily lives. If you take your car to work, take your neighbor's car to work, preferably with their permission. If you shave with an electric razor, start using shaving cream as well. If you sleep in your pajamas, sleep in your neighbor's pajamas.
Let's all join hands and band together. Let's take an oath that we will stop the evil pollsters from predicting how we will behave every second of every day. Let's put the pollsters out of the polling business. I hear there is a need for alligator wrestlers.
POLL OF THE DAY
I asked 51 people who, along with me, were stuck in traffic the following question:
What occupation that rhymes will poll would you rather see pollsters engage in?
17 people said bowler
14 people said coal miners
11 people said toll collectors
9 people had no opinion
The margin of error for this poll is so high I am embarrassed to tell you what it is.
See You Tomorrow.
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